Based on ten years of research and hundreds of interviews, this book reveals the complex reasons why people have affairs, discusses the stages of discovery and coping, the marriage/divorce dilemma, and how to seek professional help.

One of the most valuable survival guides for men or women recovering from a partner's affair.

Featured on Oprah, 48 Hours, CNN, Fox News, and in USA Today

In this landmark book, Peggy Vaughan helps us to understand the stages of suspicion, confrontation, and the healing process necessary to recover, including rebuilding self-esteem, the marriage/divorce dilemma, and seeking professional help. Packed with practical, time-tested advice and successful strategies, this authoritative guide reveals:


You are not alone—estimates are that at least 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair.
People from all walks of life have affairs—devoted parents, religious individuals, regardless of income or social class.
Our society contributes to the prevalence of affairs.
An affair does not mean the end of a marriage.
Recovery is fueled by honest, open discussion of the affair.
Substantiated by case studies, ongoing research, and the author's own experience, this updated third edition includes information on the role of the Internet in relationships, shares the words of others who are recovering from affairs, and describes the six-step program for establishing communication between partners that can actually prevent affairs.

• Publisher ‏ : ‎ Newmarket Pr; Rev&Updtd edition (March 1, 1998)
• Language ‏ : ‎ English
• Paperback ‏ : ‎ 211 pages
• ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1557043535
• Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 0.75 x 5.5 x 8 inches

Peggy Vaughan (1936 – November 8, 2012) was an American author and speaker on infidelity issues.

Vaughan became known in 1980 when she and her husband, James Vaughan, shared their story of overcoming infidelity on the Phil Donahue Show

Over the next 30 years, Vaughan became known "as an internationally recognized expert in the area of extramarital affairs."[2] Public reaction led Vaughan to create the Beyond Affairs Network "to help others whose marriages were impacted by infidelity."

In 1989, Vaughan published The Monogamy Myth," which challenged prevailing attitudes and assumptions about extramarital affairs with the goal of "helping people be better prepared to either prevent affairs or to recover if it happens." A follow-up edition of this book was published in 2003 with the subtitle "A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs."

In 1991, Vaughan and her husband began conducting public seminars on "recovering from affairs," later organizing the handouts from those seminars into a handbook for couples. In 1992, the Vaughans wrote Making Love Stay, which shared their insights about long-term relationships.

In a 1999 keynote at the Smart Marriages conference, Vaughan shared her perspective on rebuilding marriage after an affair:

• Answer all questions and hang in through the inevitable emotional turmoil.
• Sever contact with the third party and build trust through actions, not promises.
• Make a commitment to honesty and ongoing honest communication.
• Accept the fact that monogamy is an issue that's never settled "once and for all."

After a four-year battle with cancer, Vaughan died at her home in La Jolla, California on November 8, 2012. Upon her death, many of her writings were donated to the public.